Listening With my Heart by Heather Whitestone

Heather Whitestone at age 39

Born on February 24 1973, Heather Whitestone lost her hearing due to a childhood illness when she was 18 months old.  During her early years, while aware of her impairment, she did not regard herself as deaf.  Instead, as she writes in her memoir, she was just Heather.
  
If anything, she felt her hearing loss gave her a degree of freedom. Able to hear to a small degree with the help of a hearing aid, she could shut out aggravating noises with the flip of a switch.  Once, while on a family vacation, her sister groused about the loudness of their dad’s snoring.  Heather simply switched off her hearing aid and relaxed into peaceful sleep.

Beginning ballet classes as a child, she found she had a natural grace and ease in movement.  As her proficiency grew, so did her self-assurance.  Like any art, ballet requires intensive practice and self-discipline.  Eventually, Heather felt the urge to enter beauty contests in which talent was a crucial component.  Having succeeded in becoming Miss Alabama in 1994, the combination of her lovely face, lithe body and balletic skill led her to become, in 1995, Miss America.
  
Predictably, when a member of any minority is rewarded for excellence, there are those who try to undermine them by attributing victory to condescension. At times, Heather felt overwhelmed by the constant drone of the word “disability”, shadowing her to the point where it felt like a cave from which there was no escape.

One especially insensitive woman with a camera in one hand and a duck in the other, approached Ms. Whitestone to say, since her duck was deaf, she would like a photograph of him with the first deaf Miss America.  Still, Heather’s sense of inner balance allowed her to stay centered upon the validity of her success, and the positivity she could generate to others who are marginalized by society. 

In time, she met John McCallum, an aide to Congressman Newt Gingrich.  As Christianity is one of the cornerstones of Heather’s life, it was vital for her to ascertain straight-away whether this young man who evoked tender feelings shared her beliefs.  Hence, during their first dinner together, she asked him directly if he was a Christian.  When he said he was, she asked what had motivated him to become one.  His answer felt honest and genuine.  By the end of that evening, she no longer wondered whether he had asked her for this date in order to boast of having gone out with a former Miss America.  In time, their initial mutual liking evolved into love, resulting in marriage and three children. 

A cochlear implant has greatly helped Heather’s ability both to hear and communicate.  In this book, she conveys her individual and Christian principles for ongoing inner contentment and towards outward achievement. 

Having herself faced bigotry and discrimination; she now works as a motivational speaker, and is active on various political committees to make employment for people with disabilities truly equal, rather than theoretical, as it often is now.  In this memoir, she recounts her experiences with candor, ending with a sense of uplift and encouragement.  

The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne by Brian Moore

Brian Moore: born 25 August 1921 died 11 January 1999

On its surface, this novel centers on the obsessive quest of a middle-aged woman to marry her landlady’s brother.  Yet, it is so much deeper; having read it more than a decade ago, I am still touched by its memory.

Judith Hearne, in her mid to late forties, was compelled by guilt to nurse her elderly aunt during those years when most young women get married and start families.  Apparently, whenever Judith hinted to her aunt her wish to work outside the home and mingle with those her own age, her aunt reminded her of her kindness in taking the orphaned Judith into her home when no-one else was willing to do so.  Although never guessed by her as a child, the horrific price of this charity was the absolute sacrifice of the joys and opportunities of her young womanhood.

Thus, in middle-age, Judith’s lack of practice in interacting combined with increasing fear at the thought of spinsterhood  were shown by in her speaking in “a high, silly voice”, to any bachelor, until he walked off, having lost any trace of interest in becoming better acquainted.

When this book begins, Judith is subsisting as a piano teacher, having recently rented a room in the home of a widow. Judith’s social life consists of Sunday visits to a family she has known for some years.  On some level, she knows her visits are tolerated rather than enjoyed. Still, her paucity of friends is such as to impel her to accept this begrudged acceptance.  A further incentive is their custom of serving sherry.  Alcohol is the substance which goes some way towards easing the emptiness in Judith Hearne’s soul.  Although she hopes this is well-hidden, she has reason to be aware it is not.  She has been forced to vacate her previous flat due to disturbances by her drink-induced laughter.

As to her passion, her fixation on marrying focuses upon the above-mentioned brother of her landlady-himself a fellow lodger of sort, living by the dwindling proceeds of a settlement gained via an injury.  A down-and-outer, assuming Judith has hoarded savings, he asks her to go out with him one evening.  During their talk, he suggests they become joint restaurant owners.  When she agrees, he tells her, whilst running his hand down her back, she has found herself a partner.  Given her hopes, she interprets this as the beginning of a romantic relationship.  Soon, he realizes Judith has little money, while she is forced to accept his interest had been no more than comradely in nature.

By then, however, she has come to believe she cares deeply about him, and if he fails to court her, she will have no choice but to give voice to her feelings.  When she does so, his consequent surprise and rejection brings about the nervous collapse which she has thus far kept in abeyance. 

Imploding from inner turmoil exacerbated by drink, she seeks the aid of a priest.  This supposed man of God, disgusted by her drunken and overwrought state, refuses to speak with her.  Her screaming “Let me in! Let me in!” delves far beyond this priestly indifference.  In essence, it is her cry to a world which views her needs, her whole life come to that, as futile/irritating.  Viewed in its larger sense, her “Let me in!” epitomizes the plea of all those who sense themselves despised overall, just beneath a gauze of civility.

The catharsis of this book, involving other characters which space does not permit mentioning here, helps cleanse away the mists of deceit which have characterized interwoven relationships.  Most crucially, Judith reassesses her life, and finds within herself a kind of elegant dignity.

One of the most compelling aspects of this novel lies in its author’s ability to convey powerful emotions without one wasted word.  He also combines various styles, sometimes using the narrative voice, while at other times giving characters freedom to let the reader hear their thoughts, beliefs and self-justifications.  The fact of our feelings outraged and disgusted by some of these, adds a further dimension of truth to this reading experience.  

A Book by Desi Arnaz (senior)

Desiderio Alberto Arnaz and Lucille Désirée Ball

Those of us who recall watching the 1950s “I Love Lucy” show, or have enjoyed its re-runs, may not be aware of the uniqueness and ground-breaking work involved in its presentation.  According to Arnaz’ Autobiography, almost from their first meeting, starlet Lucille Ball and Cuban singer Desi Arnaz felt a galvanic connection.  Despite their later divorce after a volatile marriage, the residue of this affection never truly dissolved. 
  
Untapped ability lay beneath both Desi and Lucy’s somewhat superficial appeal.  Desi’s talents transcended his persona as an amorous Hispanic Don Juan, while Lucille’s comic abilities would long outlast her fleeting allure as a flirtatious firefly.  Almost from the first, Desi called her “Lucy” mainly because no-one else ever had, and undoubtedly due to his sense that this name suited her flamboyant nature far better than did the dainty restraints imposed upon a Hollywood dolly.

They married on November 30th 1940.  From its outset, their marriage was fraught with both joy and flame.  Desi’s Hispanic male expectations were soon deflated by Lucy’s American mindset.  When Desi, drowsy and dry-mouthed from drinking, shook Lucy awake and ordered her to get up and bring him a glass of ice water, she obeyed obediently.  A few hours later, however, she shook him awake to voice her fury and astonishment at his request and her compliance.  Never was he to do that again.

Having invested in their own company, Desilu Productions, they decided to create their sitcom, “I Love Lucy”.  No hurdle was viewed as too large to impede them.  When told by fire inspectors that certain production aspects violated laws, Desi asked what he needed to do in order to accomplish what he had just been told was forbidden.  A compromise resulted.  

In order to make “I Love Lucy” succeed, another couple was needed.  Thus, Desilu employed Vivian Vance and William Frawley to portray Ethel and Fred Mertz, the slightly older pair from whom “Ricky and Lucy Ricardo” rented an apartment.  A further example of the Arnaz business method occurred at a lunch meeting between Arnaz and Frawley.  When Frawley groused he could not get work in Hollywood based on the false belief of unreliability due to drinking, Desi put it to him in concrete terms.  One missed day of work due to alcohol would be accepted.  A second such lapse would be concealed by the script writers, though perhaps at some inconvenience.  A third offense, however, would result in instant firing, and Frawley’s inability to obtain further work as an actor by any studio.  This strategy succeeded; the first show was aired in October 1951.  Frawley never missed one day of work, or appeared for one rehearsal or show with the slightest sign of having imbibed beforehand. 

Much of Desilu productions work was innovative.  Never before had a show been on a sound stage, presented in front of a live audience.  In addition, the recording industry was still seen as high-tech.  Desilu preserved its episodes in this form, and gained firmer control than they would have if they had allowed large networks to sell their work to smaller TV stations.

Today, there are those who ridicule the “I Love Lucy” show as mindless slapstick.  Arnaz does not deny their program contained farcical elements.  Still, as he states in this autobiography, their purpose was to entertain-nothing more.  If someone, after a long day at work, switched a TV onto their show, they hoped to generate laughter and fun.  There was no social commentary or solemn subtext.  Even the Ricardo’s worst arguments always ended in humor and tenderness.  They hoped to reflect the typical 1950s couple, plagued by the day-to-day irritations, with never a question of granite-like love. 

Even though outdated marital views can be found in their programs, countless couples still seem to recognize aspects of themselves and their lives within the Ricardo’s framework. 
The book is a wonderful read depicting a complicated career, a volatile relationship and I believe Desi's lifelong love for “Lucy”