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| Rahimeh Andalibian |
Full Title: The Rose Hotel: A Memoir of Secrets, Loss, and Love From Iran to America by Rahimeh Andalibian
Their home in Iran was pervaded by warmth, affection, delectable food, and a discipline which, although definite, always conveyed understanding. Its main requirement consisted of absolute adherence to Islamic teachings. Although this entailed strictures unusual in many parts of the world, these children, grown accustomed to its demands, complied with no more than the occasional inner sense of frustration. Then, as often happens, a seemingly minor incident sets in motion a series of events which would haunt the family for decades to come, eventually forcing them to feel the need to leave Iran for America.
Sadly, revolutions tend to release evil; actions which would not be dared in ordinary day-to-day life become permissible. This proves especially true if the perpetrators can convince a court their motives were based on political principles, rather than the egoistic joy of reveling in a sense of control-causing harm with impunity. Hence, in 1979, two drunken youths raped and battered a woman old enough to have been their grandmother. When their victim pointed this out, indicating the grayness of her hair, they simply scoffed in hilarity.
Once this woman, abandoned and injured, had been rescued and brought to a hospital, the question became what should be done to prevent her abusers from harming others in the same or similar ways. As her recollections were vague, the suspects needed to be confined somewhere before they could be arrested. Given his reputation as being public-spirited and deeply moralistic, Mr. Andalibian was asked to house the suspected perpetrators in his hotel, while the police gathered evidence to justify their arrest and imprisonment.
Therefore, despite his wife’s fury and terror regarding these criminals potential contact with their children, the father, having secluded the suspects for some while, in time, allowed them to perform jobs in the hotel. Like many truly fine human beings, Mr. Andalibian believed the goodness in others could be awakened if sufficient trust was bestowed.
Unfortunately, his eldest son, Abdullah, in his mid-teens, was at the most opportune time in life to enjoy a sense of revolt. Just as Iranians were being urged to over-turn long-held beliefs, Abdullah began to talk with these suspects. Eager to avenge themselves on his father, they were overjoyed to recruit and exploit his son. To recount the consequences of this “friendship” would ruin the rest of this book for future readers. It is enough to say increasing layers of subterfuge were needed to be deployed. This ended in the family’s realization of their need to first visit, and later take up permanent residence in America.
Still, their emotional past could not be avoided. The veiling of information became more suffocating than the most extreme form of purdah. It would take years of estrangement, horrific substance abuse, and intense interpersonal strife, until, urged by a psycho-therapist, the true nature of what had occurred was revealed and then discussed between all of them.
This memoir ends with a sense of familial reconciliation earned by a willingness by each member to be open with one another. Silences and tensions arise, but each member knows, at some point, they will become a unit again.
Ms. Andalibian, herself a psycho-therapist, has also begun a program to help those with learning disabilities to gain knowledge in an enjoyable way. Her memoir indicates her work will become imprinted upon psychological awareness.
She ends her book with the hope that the nakedness of her exposure of concealed conflicts within her family will motivate others to scrutinize issues they have ignored for years, thereby growing closer to one another. Painful as this purging might be, if done with tenderness and honesty, it will, she believes, prove worth the depths of its anguish.
